At the age of 18 I decided it was right to step up to the system within my school, and speak out for justice. It was when I took the platform I realize I was fighting for justice alone, but the strength inside me came from the fact I knew the action I commenced in was right.

The following is how the speech was written in front of me, but because I was so passionate, I spoke it word for word from memory.
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Good morning, judges, teachers, and students. I’d first like to point out that what I am about to say is exercising my freedom of speech, whilst remaining constructive and precise.

As senior members of the school, we are obliged to ensure that a good impression is given to those lower down in the school. It is a fact.

However, although it is a good initiative to take, I personally feel that we are taking too much of this ‘responsibility’.
Today I am here to talk to you all about, how I feel, as a senior member of the school, that not enough is being done elsewhere.

I wish to speak to you on a few areas I believe are important to all those concerned: Zero tolerance within the school, serious issues within the school, and a third point that will be addressed when we come to it in this speech.

I hope that by the end of the speech, the evidence I present will convince you that the school needs to improve its structure.
Zero tolerance within the school: Quoted from the school’s student planner about hair:

‘For boys, it must be clean around the ears and off the collar. No grade 2 or below. They are expected to be clean-shaven.’
 
‘For girls, long hair must be kept tidy with a minimum of accessories.’

It then states ‘Please note that should you refuse to co-operate with the requests of staff concerning the state of your hair, strict sanctions such as suspension from school may apply.’  

I believe it is good to be neat and tidy, and the school makes it clear here that if you do not comply, you will be suspended until you take action.

We have been told in an end of year assembly upper-six last year, that if we are to come back this year with shirts hanging out, untidy hair, we do not have a place in the school. I quote: ‘Go to the reception at the front of the school, and state you are not coming back.'

Perhaps when I show you some of the more serious issues within the school that have occurred, you may see the previous example as being ‘a bit of a joke’.  

Although this point is quite short, I shall be making many references back to ‘Zero tolerance’ throughout this speech.



Serious issues within the school: What would you class as a serious issue? The previous example seems to be taken very seriously by the school, with the possible outcome of suspension being present.

Personally, I believe serious issues are not about the way you look, but about the way you are treated. “Bullying”, to me is a serious issue!

Looking back in the Senior Student Planner, I have found that is explains the different types of bullying, and what should be done if it occurs.

The rule on hair has a section highlighted in bold stating the possibility of suspension. However, in the section about bullying, the only word in bold is SHARED, which shows you how the issue is seen by the school.
Although it states (not in bold I must add), ‘Any pupil responsible for bullying will not be welcome at the school’, I can show you of examples of where bullying has occurred, and very little, if anything has been done to enforce the quotation I have just stated.
 
The following incident that I present to you has occurred within the school. Spitting in another pupil’s eye would be considered ‘physical bullying’. Allegedly, when reported, all that was said is that the bully of concern is in a family that contributes a lot to the school, and therefore no action will be taken to remove such a disgrace.
Yes, bullying is dealt with, in this school….Yes sometimes the victim does not want action to be taken due to the possibility of the bully seeking revenge…But ladies and gentlemen, this victim called for action, and nothing was done.

Remember the three C’s mentioned in the Student Planner: Courtesy, consideration, and common sense? Where is the courtesy and consideration of not taking any action for the victim? Where is the common sense in letting the bully get away with it?  
 
Verbal bullying such as name calling has occurred many times, and some of which have been ‘serious issues’. Have those of concern been removed from the school? Have any been punished significantly? Of course not!

We are being told not to come back to the school if we are not prepared to dress tidily, yet when people have been caught with dealing illegal substances within the school, it is kept all quiet and suspension is given for just a couple of days.  
 
Bullying like any evil, can start off small and then like a virus, multiplies over time into a much bigger and more serious problem; that is when it is too late to do anything. So when people report small problems, we would be told ‘see how it goes’ or ‘don’t make such a big deal out of it’.

In the time I have been here in the school since 1998, at least 2 pupils have left due to bullying. This is due to the fact they could take no more. So what impression are we giving here? That those being bullied should be forced to leave and not those who bully? I rest my case.
 
‘So where is this going?’ I hear some of you ask. What has the comment I made about us being obliged to display an example to a lower school got to do with these minor and serious issues?
 
Well, my third point is about reputation, which I believe is what the school is constructed of, and how reputation affects the minds of 6th formers.

Reputation and how 6th formers are affected: Now don’t get me wrong, this is a good school. It has great teaching and good facilities etc. We are currently 30th best school on the independent league table. That’s great! Achievements are being made. I agree that this speech is very critical, but that doesn’t mean I do not think the school is a good one 

It is when you look at the great surroundings; lots and lots of potted plants being put up everywhere, newly laid grass, and the school cress sown onto the seats of gym equipment… you may ask like I do; are such material achievements important? It has been said that it is what’s on the inside that counts right?  
 
The point of this speech has been to inform you that there are many issues within the school that are being neglected…Is this only because people from outside school looking in won’t see the large problems such a bullying. What they will see however, is scruffy shirts and less than conventional hairstyles. But on that matter, if you look back at the time when you visited the school and looked around, if you saw someone with long hair, a neat beard, or a collar undone, would you have chosen to go elsewhere? Obviously this is a ‘risk’ the school does not think it worth taking.
 
‘Laws are like spiders’ webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape.’

That is a quote from the philosopher Solon.

It is also an issue of, are we pawns in this reputation game? Are we being treated like adults?

In general the 6th form don’t feel like they are been treated like adults. We will be told, ‘Act like adults and we will treat you like adults.’ Well that hasn’t worked! So let’s do it this way, the way I think will work; ‘Treat us like adults and we will act like adults.’

This speech isn’t about how action should have been taken, it is about, how can we be expected to stick to petty zero tolerant rules, when much more serious issues are not even been dealt with fully. There are many examples of rules that have frustrated member of the 6th form, and the following are just a few:
 


Example ‘a’: Pupils much shave and teachers do not have to.

Example ‘b’: You cannot leave school premises during free period. We are told the reason for this is, this is a school, not a college….I’ll leave that for you to decide whether or not this is a ‘half decent reason’.  

Example ‘c’: Smoking – Yes…the reason we are told not to smoke in school, is because it is a bad example to those lower down in the school. Well, those who take the time to walk out of the school grounds for a smoke are still punished! But taking the effort to leave the grounds is allowing both sides of the coin to be satisfied. The smokers have the ability to satisfy their addiction, while at the same time not

influencing lower members of the school. I mean surely there is no 1st year with a pair of binoculars looking out of the school!
This speech is not about hypocrisy. It is about equality. I am speaking on behalf of the 6th form that many have stated their frustrations with how the system works, and how the school’s priorities are not right.
 
Why do I stand here some of you ask? Well firstly you cannot get about 150 members of the 6th form on stage can you? And also, if you were to bring up any of these issues with members of the school council, can you honestly tell me you think it would be dealt with?

I represent the true voice of the 6th form, and I leave you with this, from the Greek philosopher Socrates:  
 
‘What you cannot enforce, do not command.’



Thank you.

Legacy Outlives the Soul

And we can still achieve so much
But should not become complacent;
For if we are to stay in touch
With humanitarian needs, we must…

Break away from all we know that isn’t right.
Ensure our goals are forever kept in sight
Never fear of excelling to a state of cognitive flight.
It is time to go out and she some light.

Together we must stay focused
On what we hope long term prosperity to show!
Should not matter how long it takes us,
For human legacy can outlive human soul.

And we can still achieve so much
But should not become complacent;
For if we are to stay in touch
With humanitarian needs, we must…

Double exposure by telling just one person what you believe,
And let them then do the same: Plant the seed!
If your idea benefits common good, then wait and see
Nature will take its course: Resolution is then conceived.

Now! Can you see the horizon brighten?
No? Then we will try again and again!
Now! Do you believe you can shape the world?
Yes? Then we shall fight this out until the end!

And we can still achieve so much
But should not become complacent;
For if we are to stay in touch
With humanitarian needs, we must…

Keep fighting until the end!
Keep fighting until the end!
Keep fighting until the end!
For what is right: We shall defend!

*Spoken Word over sound of heavy knocking at door*
Female voice in despair: W-w-what should we do? They are at the door! And they won’t stop knocking!
*Sound of door breaking down*
Female voice almost broken down: Oh no! I’m so scared! What should we do?
Calm male voice: Open the door

And we can still achieve so much
But should not become complacent;
For if we are to stay in touch
With humanitarian needs, we must… UNITE!

“There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them.” - Tom Krause

Above stands one of my all time favorite quotes and it is one that summarizes the trip I had in the United States of America the past couple of weeks. What started off as a journey inspired with feelings towards a particular individual (causing me ask everyone else I hoped to see elsewhere in the country to wait another year), became a week of shear awkwardness and ludicrous circumstance. The plan was to see this person for a week in their hometown of Las Vegas, and then heading out to New York City together for a week at the You Tube gathering “789” – Sounds like a good plan right?

As expressed in a previous entry written on the first night I was there, things looked harsh and tainted instantly. However after the second day of holding my breath, hope shined through and I felt stable with my situation. It is a shame to declare now that was the only day I felt comfortable with the person I visited, hoping to see what would happen. There was hope for a solid friendship to form, and if anything else progressed – well that would have been more than I expected.

However expectation cannot play a part in this story, because it was shattered by a series of absolutely insane events, that make me look back and ask myself “How the f**k did I get through all that sane?” The concept of ‘everything happens for a reason’ is one I’ve debated within my heart and mind my entire life, and the idea became more significant to me as the week progressed.

“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise” – Oscar Wilde

On independence day I had to leave the home, which I was happy with, and although a friend I was hoping to meet ditched me, I met some amazing people at a casino bar, who later that evening took me to an 80s show for free! When hoping to be picked up by my Las Vegas host (friend) afterwards, text and voicemail failed leaving me with no where to stay, except with the strangers I met that night.

I would love to discuss the story on this entry, but being jetlagged still I think I will put such on hold. What I will say is true colors have been shown to me on this trip. This person presents many features that would cause the average human to jump on stereotypes and have negative beliefs: However I stood back and took them for who they were in the months we spoke online, and although she came across as a fantastic individual, by the end of the trip I learned she was a self-inflicted fabrication who has some social-tests to overcome in future.

“The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat one's self. All sin is easy after that.” - Pearl Bailey

Whether it is hoping to go to a public You Tube gathering to prove her critics wrong, by actually supporting the stereotype she portrays, or saying she takes physical-actions seriously before getting with a 17 year old – she has done herself no service. And I am confident in saying I want nothing more to do with this person ever again.

When I look at the whole picture, I see it as 2 girls done, and 1 more to go! (3^rd time lucky right?) The first girl made me believe more strongly in women’s rights, and how cheaters can always change – she later showed me through actions ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’, and that her exercise of women’s rights is to sleep around without respectful responsibility. As for the 2^nd girl, well I’ve explained her contradictions: She made me believe that you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover, but taught me pre-judgments can be a clear warning of what is to come.

Life has its lessons, and I sure am learning: One at a time, girl by girl…

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.” – No Name

“Exploration is really the essence of the human spirit.” - Frank Borman

Today was a chilled one, in which I stayed in whilst my friend was at work. Without being able to drive, I spent my time look at Las Vegas and all the things I hope to do this week. I’m sure many of you would be screaming right now “Casinos!!!” and I need to let you know, I am fully aware of their presence haha!

Unfortunately I’m legally allowed to drive a car until I’m 25, being a visitor from overseas, so my mobility is very limited. However if I ever get the chance to go places, this is what is at the top of my list:

-         Casinos: Okay, I’ve mentioned it! (Happy now? Haha) I don’t hope to spend much, but I do want to experience the wrath of some of the most superior casinos in the world. I definitely know my limit!

-         “Insanity”: This is a ride on top of the tallest building in Las Vegas named the ‘Stratosphere’. Sitting in a chair that is hung out 64 feet over the edge of the 900ft drop, you get spun at 3Gs… FANTASTIC!

-         The Grand Canyon: I really want to go here, but it’s whether or not I’m going to be able to find someone who could take me there for the day! I hear there is a glass platform that extends over the edge and for me that would be a great experience, and vlogging opportunity!

-         Photoshoot: I’ve always wanted to be a part of one, and Morgan said she could arrange it, so may be able to tick that one off my “365 days in 30 ways” list!

-         Black widow territory: Within 1hour of arriving at my accommodation I came across a web that belongs to the deadly black widow spider. There was no sign of the spider itself, and so before I leave this area I hope to encounter one up close, but not too close!

This trip is going to be amazing for sure, even if it was glossed with disappointment and emotionally-challenging concerns on the first night. Whenever you feel like you are in darkness, keep searching, and you will find the light!

“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone.” - Arthur Schopenhauer

As my fingers stroke across this keyboard, my heart pounds, and my mind thrashes about trying to make sense of the world I am currently in. For weeks now I have been unsure of whether or not a trip to Las Vegas was a ‘good idea’ due to reasons I shall not disclose, even when on the 10 hour flight over. Having not slept in 2 days, and it being 5.40am back at home (9.40pm local time), I realise that if I go with my mind – this trip will be amazing and I will have a great time with the online friend I came to visit. (Yes you’ve got it! Another heart vs mind dilemma explanation is approaching!) If I go with my heart, I feel completely useless, stupid, and out of control, with no realistic hope of ever putting things right, based on destructive actions in my past. 

I hate to discuss this so abstractly with no specifics, but the details are not what is important in this entry. The fact I feel my whole body quivering on emotive thoughts, and not the air-conditioning – and the fact I wish more than ever in my life that I could put things right. I had an opportunity to have something special with the most amazing person I have ever met (well technically just met today), and already it appears it wasn’t meant to be. However I cannot grasp that concept: I just can’t.

“When sadness comes, just sit by the side and look at it and say, “I am the watcher, I am not sadness,” and see the difference. Immediately you have cut the very root of sadness. It is no more nourished. It will die of starvation. We feed these emotions by being identified with them.” - Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

I feel alone, pathetic, inadequate and out of control: and there is nothing I can do. Nothing! I so wish I could just go with my mind right now for the rest of this trip, to ensure the $1,500 doesn’t pay for a week and a half of total misery – but my heart beats fast as always when I am emotively invested in a situation, to such a large degree.

For once in my life also, I could without question put my hands up and say “Please, anyone out there who sees me for who I am – please don’t let me be alone.” My heart pumps so much love to give – but it seems only to cause my eyes to pump out so many tears, as I type these final words.

“Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worth while. So when you are lonely, remember it's true: Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you.” – No Name

"A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are." - No Name

Right now I lie on an airbed, starring up at a wall covered with a collage of imagery, which shows the true character of the person whose room it is. It is filled with notes, drawings, magazine cut-outs (you name it!), and is a fine representation of his life as it evolves with experiences.

I have been so wrapped up with work and a torn heart the past year, that it is finally a breath of fresh air to be free from University for good, and to be able to rebuild my social life once again to a desirable level.

Today I visited Charlie McDonnell (as many of you would know as CHARLIEISSOCOOLLIKE on Youtube), and we haven't hung out that much over the years we have known each other. However, you can tell the quality of a relationship on someone, based on its existence upon engagement, as opposed to its quantity. I am so glad me and Charlie have become good friends, because he has a great heart, and I know he is well grounded with what he does, although surrounded by a lot of attention from the media with his successes. I always knew we got along, but today confirmed it even more, and I really hope him and I can spend more time hanging out in future!

We are both respectful of each other, and have interest and proud-reflections among each other's successes - which is such a great bond to have. I'm really privileged to have him as a friend, and hopefully we will never lose touch, no matter where our paths in life take us!

I now post this journal, and go to sleep, feeling fantastic that not only I have spent the day with the dude, but that I also discovered my university results, stating that I had earned my degree in psychology Bsc (Hons) at level 2:1 - a fantastic achievement!

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." - Frederick Keonig

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” – Robert McCloskey

The past week has definitely been a surreal one for me, in a good way (for the most part). And furthermore it has been probably the best week I’ve had in the past 10months or so, for what has been a rocky ride. I’m sure many of you would know it has been tough for me, regardless of how little you may know!

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” - Morrie Schwartz

Within a few days of my last journal entry, I had received various texts, emails and IMs from people I know from all walks of life… girls, who expressed their love for me. I was truly shocked and blown away by all I had received; [1] Because the journal entry was about making a new friend who I was really curious to get to know and [2] Because I never realised the people who messaged me felt in such a way.

Over the few days I had come to a conclusion that the person I was curious to talk with, didn’t have significant interest with me, so I was saddened a bit by that, but it is how life is sometimes: You come across people you have an affection for (on whatever level that may be) and then you discover whether or not that affection can translate onto a bidirectional experience. A key element about my social life is I genuinely get along with girls better, and for some people that creates many misconceptions, whether it is that I am a player, or perhaps I’m obsessing over finding that special person. The true reason is I find females generally are better to talk to on a deep-emotional level, and it does not rule out the fact I do speak with guys as well!

“To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.” - Brandi Snyder

On Saturday (16th May) night I held a live STICKAM webcam chat, to relax from the stress of a final I had that day. During the session, someone came into my room who caught my eye, (and this will make you laugh) and the first thing I asked her was “Are you real?” in a PM because she was absolutely incredible in looks – and it just didn’t seem right someone of that presence would come into a room like mine!

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one” - C.S. Lewis

It’s been quite a few days since, and I have to tell you my world has changed. The past few days I have been speaking with Morgan (that’s her name!) for hours every morning, at every chance we get. She is the most amazing person ever, in the way we are both so alike in interests, beliefs and deep core values. It would be impossible for me to write (or type even!) about the connection I have with her… because words being typed at 1am would just not do her justice. Ever since things broke off with my ex, which I never explicitly went into detail with on these journals (I’m sure I will do soon now time has passed and I can reflect without judgement clouded with emotional torment), my confidence and self-worth was truly torn.

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” - Carl W. Buechner

From a very young age I had always had a dream of being a family man, married, with a house and career by the age of 25, sharing my life experiences with my partner. Now 22, and having waited so long for ‘the right person’ who then turned out to be the complete opposite, hope was drained from me inside. This whole illusion I had of being happy as a family man with all those elements by 25 seemed a complete joke, until now. That is not to say Morgan is the one, and that I plan to marry her upon meeting – I have perceptions, and understandings of possibilities… but I have patience and realistic rationale too. However, I have never felt so strongly for anyone in my life before, and once again I could not even begin to express in this journal how significant this has been on my life. What I can say though is I have faith in life once more, and I realize that when you are going through times of struggle, when you feel ending your life is an option… that you are only killing off the chance of eventuality of finding true happiness. And right now I couldn’t think of a better person to share my life experiences with.

“By ourselves we can enjoy life, but to really appreciate life we must find companionship” – No Name

It is early days still, and I am never one to fall too fast unless I am hit with a truly good reason to feel in such a way. However since brief mentions of this girl, the number of people who have declared their love for me on top of those that had done so before, is just mind-blowing. A lot of people forget for most of my life I was an outcast socially who never got invited to things, and when they had a prom or something, I’d always be the guy sitting on the side watching the rest of the people in the room dance to the slow song. Even when with my ex I had huge insecurities, and she managed to make me have confidence, only to tear it down again completely, and make me feel stupid for ever believing I was worth something in the eyes of a potential partner.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” – Dr. Seuss

But now I do have confidence, because I came out of the situation, and gradually made waves in my social life, and realising the possibility that I could be attractive, and I could be someone a girl would want to be with. This brings me to final point however, which is troubling to some extent, and will require much though in future.

People are my life as I’ve always said, and I love my fellow man, truly. I also get on better with girls generally, and in the past I always had to make a really big effort if I wanted to be even considered by the opposite sex as a potential date; which never happened. Now considering all these traits and characteristics of myself, and then translating that onto a situation where I have gained confidence, which does help someone with their presence in society – it has caused issue.

"In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person." - Margaret Anderson

When I am good friends with a girl now, who I love as friend, and would do anything for to make sure she is happy, there is a huge risk her falling for me. Before I wrote this entry I was speaking with a good friend of mine who was in need of a chat – and I do love her greatly because she is an amazing person and deserves so much in life, but she addressed the issue of there possibly being a chance of her falling for me if we were to meet in person. I didn’t know what to say – because I care about her so much, and I would love our friendship to go beyond a cyber screen, but would a meet up in the real world be all worth it, if it risked throwing all away because of emotions becoming entangled on a unilateral-romantic-love-fuelled experience?

These are issues I definitely have to deal with, and I know when speaking with Morgan about such a concern, she said it would never before her if I had close female friends – because she TRUSTS me. However, the question is do I TRUST myself…not in terms of risk of cheating (cause I would NEVER do such a disgusting thing), but in terms of not making a close friend fall for me, when I can’t offer any more love, than that of a true a friend.

I’ve always concluded I have too much love inside me, and that is why I crave people who need fixing to keep me alive – and people generally to acknowledge my existence. It is an extended form of the human condition I suppose, but when my love for someone is of a unique essence, that when transcribed by others makes them assume I want to be more than just friends – life becomes very complicated for me.

“The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see, and knows what the mind cannot understand” – Robert Valett

“Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.” - No Name

I am seriously in a life divided by 2 parallels right now: Truly incredible! As many of you would know I have not been very active on my various internet mediums, (including this journal) the past couple of months, as I have had a huge psychology research dissertation, and now finals! They have dominated my life immensely, and now after 3 years of hard work at the University of Hertfordshire, it all comes down to 3 exam sittings. The first of the 3 judgment days I have being tomorrow!

As I said there are 2 parallels I exist between right now…

The first involves me lying here on my bed; I feel emotionally sick, with stress, knowing that my academic life is going to be tested over the next month - and I just hope it goes well. I only have one shot at this, and it would devastate me if it were not to go successfully.

However, although I said goodbye to my social life, I have by complete accident come across a particular individual who seriously took my breath away. Words just can’t explain what an impact this person has had on me. You know how sometimes you come across someone as a matter of curiosity, and as you look more and more into their eyes, and into who they are, you find they are just so so immensely special - well that is who I have found.

So therefore my second parallel involves me lying here on my bed; I feel emotionally sick, with concern, knowing that I have to put my social endeavors with this special entity on hold. Because first, I must close the 3 year chapter that is of my passion to help people in the world, and I need to do this!

It is just so difficult though, because through experience I know someone this special could so easily and quickly disappear when I direct my full attention elsewhere. Just 2 weeks is all I need…

I tried writing some lyrics about this today, but with all the writing and typing I have been undergoing work wise... my mind just wasn't going to have it! And thus I present to you these words of pure honesty and conviction. I have found someone so special, and I really hope after I get these judgment days cleared from the future, and pushed into the past, that I will be able to hang with her on the other side. I could list all the reasons why she is so incredible, but that is not what's important now... because would it be all worth it, if her and I never ended up becoming good friends? Just a bigger loss for me to bear when looking back over these journals in the future.

I guess time will tell. But I'm so nervous, because it would be such an immense shame to lose out on becoming friends with such a special person.

“In all things it is better to hope than to despair” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“True friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it's not.” - No Name

Three dreams, three friends, three distances, three tragedies... All in the past week it has become apparent.

Walking around an abstract city, in a dream where I came across a friend I have not met in person before, I am faced with a dilemma. I discover through impulse that they are going through difficulty, and being at a distance, I run on over, in hope of catching them, embracing them, and telling them things will be alright... but I can't. They disappear around street corners, through crowds, into shadows, and into blindingly bright areas. I chase in hope of being able to help them but I cannot.

Three dreams, three friends, three distances, and three tragedies... And it all seemed so real.

All three friends I had met through the internet (which isn’t a surprise knowing my lifestyle). The first I had known for about 6 years, but hadn’t spoken to since before Christmas 2008. The second I knew since before Christmas, and the third I met online in the past couple of months.

Three dreams, three friends, three distances, and three tragedies... All their friendships are special to me.

As I said: never met them in person before as the distances that bridge between us has not yet been overcome. My friend of 6years lives in Scotland, my 2nd friend in the USA, and 3rd in Russia.

Three dreams, three friends, three distances, and three tragedies... I love meeting people all across the world from all walks of life.

In the first dream I was able to speak with my Scottish friend at one point, in which she explained her bf of 6months had been treating her badly, and therefore they decided to take a break. There was talk of how we need to meet up soon and make our friendship more than just exchanges of words across the internet. I woke up, and with recollection of how long it had been since we last spoke, and feelings of concern I txt my friend asking if everything was okay. The conversation that occurred in the dream became a reality.

The 2nd and 3rd dreams were identical to each other, in which I was unable to make contact with my friends and discover what was wrong with them. Such curiosity followed me through to reality when I woke up the next days after such dreams and thus I attempted to make contact.

My American friend was going through a horrific emotional ordeal, after dealing with an incident of rape: Walking home one night, three guys approached her, covered her face while they undertook such disgusting acts. The distance between us made me ache; as I wanted to be there for her and make sure she was ‘really alright’. She was on webcam in public, smiling and chatting – and for that I was shocked and proud with the fact a few days after such ordeal; she was still getting on with what she had always done. However I wish I could be sure that when out of the public eye, she felt safe and secure. I had to take her word that things were fine, and give her my word that if she ever needed to speak, I would be there for her.

My Russian friend prior to my dream had already spoken of going through really emotional times, where she questioned life and felt very ‘on edge’. The dream amplified my concerns and I messaged her in hope we could speak soon – days on I still have heard nothing back, and I am truly worried. She lives so far away, and consequently I must rely on the only mediums of contact I have – I just hope she is safe and well.

Three dreams, three friends, three distances, and three tragedies... All I hope for now are three resolutions.